The floor is so cold.

That’s what is going through your head at the moment your cell phone starts ringing. It’s vibrating and ringing on the sink. Slowly you reach up and grab it. It’s your friend Dave.

“Hey man, I haven’t heard from you in two days, what’s wrong? You know we were supposed to meet up at the lake yesterday morning right?”

“Yeah, I…….I know” You say in a sullen voice. “I just need some time right now” the phone is uneasy in your shaking hand. You try to focus on what your friend is saying.

“What’s going on man? You haven’t been yourself lately, are you ok?”

“I……I just have something on my mind that I need some time to think about. I gotta go.”

You flip the phone closed and place it on the floor next to you ever so softly. You want to tell him what happened, but you feel so alone that not even your best friend can help you. No one can help now. It's too late for that.

The water slowly drips from the stainless steel shower head, falling like a rocket and smashes onto the base of the hard shower floor like a shot in the dark. It’s loud and rythmic…..slow and steady. The sound is super-exaggerated in your mind like a huge clock ticking away the time left in your life.

Sitting there on the cold tile floor of your bathroom in a towel you realize that this is it for you. This is where it all ends. The events in your past have been ingrained in the stone of your mind. Hindsight is eating at you every second you sit there. Wallowing in your mistakes that cannot be undone. What do you do………what can be done? Can I wake up from this nightmare? Tell me I can re-wind this part of my life......

You try to think of something better, something fun. Your view shifts from the tarnished tile floor up to the open bathroom door. It’s painted wood surface peeling and yellowing with age. Your eyes travel from the door across your living room. You look to the open window of your apartment. The curtains are blowing ever so slightly in the soft breeze. You try to focus on the sounds of the street below, the cars, the people and the bustle of life, where everything is all

WHAM!

The next water droplet slams onto the shower basin. You are back on the cold tile floor. Back to your current state of stress and shot nerves. You sit and let the events start eating at your soul again. “Why me? Why did this have to happen to me?? Why NOW? I just got my life back on track. I had a plan. This can’t be real. I want another chance. I want a do-over!”

You grip onto the towel wrapped around your body, holding on for dear life. Rocking back and forth trying to sooth yourself isn’t doing any good. You try to think of what to do with your

WHAM!

Back in the real world again…….The sound of the water hitting the hard marble floor makes you wince with terror. You have nowhere else to go. You feel like the apartment is your cell. Everywhere you go you cannot hide. Your mind cannot run away fast enough from the truth. Nothing can take your mind off what you did. Nothing. Every time you get a second of clarity the world lashes back and reminds you of your fate.

That hot shower definitely didn’t help.

God this floor is so cold…